If They Only Knew (Song for Polly)

If They Only Knew (Song for Polly)

These are the lyrics to a song I wrote after the passing of Polly Williams. If you've seen Lauren Greenfield's HBO documentary, Thin, you may remember Polly as the patient who was asked to leave after the team deemed her "a bad seed." This bothers me, to this day. Polly was not a bad seed. She was not a bad person. She was sick, confused, disillusioned, and she needed further help -- period.

After leaving Florida's Renfrew Center involuntarily, Polly relapsed for some time and then seemed to get her life back on track. I suspect that those around her believed she was doing well, and maybe they forgot to check in. Maybe they got a little lazy about it. Maybe they were tired of it all, and just hoped she had finally gotten over her silly little eating disorder.

And maybe we all need to be a little more diligent about checking in with one another, keeping one another on track. This song is something of a reminder.


IF THEY ONLY KNEW (Song for Polly)
Walks past the storefront window
Sees her reflection in the glass
She doesn’t really know that girl
Might have met her in the past

Seems to have it all together
Must just sail right through life
Probably someone’s mother
Someone’s lover, someone’s wife

(chorus)But oh, if they only knew
The confusion and the lies
If they could see the struggle
That she snuggles with at night
If they could see behind the smile
To where the worries lie
They’d nevermore believe her
When she says “I’m doing fine”

Goes to church on Sunday
They’d notice if she didn’t show
She’s a familiar face
A name that everybody knows

She teaches little children
How to love and serve their Lord
And all that know her love her
But there’s a shadow they ignore

(chorus)Because oh, if they only knew
How she cries herself to sleep
If they could see her weariness
And the secrets that she keeps
If they could look beyond her mask
To the tenderness inside
They’d dig a little deeper
When she says “I’m doing fine”

(bridge)And when the sun sets in the evening
And when her telephone stops ringing
She’s needing something to believe in
And wishing somebody would call
Oh, anyone at all

And oh, if they only knew
All the questions in her heart
If they could know the emptiness
Of how they echo in the dark
If they could see her hidden tears
And hear her silent, stifled cry
They’d never let her get away
She’d never go another day
They simply wouldn’t let her say“I’m doing fine”

Polly Williams (1974-2008)